Energy Vampires are regular people who have allowed their vibration to become so low that they need to “feed off” another’s energy in order to function and feel satisfied.
Energy vampires are often personality-disordered people who tend to be:
Intrusive, showing poor boundaries.
Overly dramatic, making mountains out of molehills.
Overly critical, finding fault with just about everyone and everything in their lives.
Chronic complainers, rarely finding anything to their liking or satisfaction.
Argumentative, having trouble agreeing with others, even on things that seem insignificant or inconsequential.
Relentlessly demanding and persistent, being unable to take no for an answer.
Constantly negative, always seeing the glass half empty.
Unable to accept responsibility, blaming everyone but themselves for their actions and problems. i.e. Victim complex.
Egotistical.
These individuals feed off of negativity and off of your reactions instigated by their negative behaviors. They are controlling, manipulative, and low-minded.
There is no reason to allow their problems to become yours. Here are three steps to help you deal with people who drain you:
Know one when you see one. The negative nature of energy vampires is not always readily apparent when you first meet them. At first, their quirkiness may intrigue you, their gossip and stories may leave you wanting to hear more, their dramatic flair may entertain you, or their hard-luck stories may suck you in. Soon, however, you begin to realize something is wrong. Don't ignore those feelings. Pay close attention to your instincts and your physical reactions after your encounters. If you find yourself experiencing muscle tension, loss of energy, headaches, irritability, sadness, confusion, or negativity, you may have an energy vampire in your life.
Limit your contact. Once you've identified such people, limit the amount of time you spend with them. If you can't detach completely, as in the case of family members or coworkers, set firm limits. For example, for those who are intrusive or overly dramatic and end up consuming a lot of your time with their tales of woe or displays of theatrics, you should start off conversations with something like, "I only have a few minutes before I have to [fill in the blank]..." Once that time is up, politely disengage.
Don't get pulled in. No matter how much you might like to think or hope you will be able to fix their problems, you won't. Chronically negative people will either resist your interventions or create new crises in their lives for you to "fix." The truth is that in cases of personality-disordered people even the best therapists have difficulty effectuating change. In short, their problems are beyond your ability to "fix." Your best strategy is to protect yourself by setting clear and firm limits. For example, for those who are very needy or insecure and constantly want your guidance, resist offering solutions. Instead, say something like, "I'm confident that you'll be able to find the right answer on your own," and excuse yourself. You don't have to be rude—you can be firm in a kind and empathic way.
There is some debate about who actually coined the term “energy vampire”. According to lore, Anton LaVey of the Church of Satan wrote about the topic in his Satanic Bible, popularizing the term during the 1960’s.
LaVey claimed credit for creating the term, although the concept of a psychic or energy vampire had been introduced in the 1930’s by Dion Fortune.
A related notion is that of the “emotional” vampire, used by author Albert Bernstein who connects the idea to psychological and personality disorders. Although the American Psychological Association does not have a proper medical definition for it, such vampirism does exist and it can overlap with sociopathy and psychopathy.
Regardless of what exact label we wish to give them, energy vampires cause fatigue, depression, lethargy and exhaustion, and crush hope, dreams and optimism.
However, the following list provides key traits that all energy vampires exhibit, so keep your eyes peeled and some psychic garlic in your pocket.
1. Lack of empathy
Unfortunately, lack of empathy and compassion appears to be increasing globally. When world leaders exhibit this trait, it is difficult to appreciate how devastating it can be, as we conflate it with tough politics and zero tolerance.
Lack of empathy is also associated with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and Anti-Social Behavior.
If someone in your life repeatedly does not care about your or your problems, tries to belittle or degrade you, demonstrates abusive (or potentially abusive) behavior, dismisses your thoughts and feelings, or does not care about the suffering of others or the damage he or she has wrought, then this person is probably an energy vampire.
2. Attention seeking
This characteristic is also associated with Narcissists and Anti-Social Behavior. Even though it may appear ironic, people with anti-social behavioral traits are quite social. Typically extroverts, they love being at the center of the crowd. Due to their tendency to take risks, they can seem exciting, brash and daring, and people are attracted to them. However, there is definitely a dark side to their charm.
3. Hyperbole machine
This category also includes lying. In the quest for constant recognition and due to a grand sense of self-importance, energy vampires often manipulate facts and circumstances to make themselves look much better or to have suffered much more than anyone else. In an attempt to be the eternal “top dog”, the vampire stretches the truth to feed their ego. They often will “one up” others in order to prove their superiority.
4. Constant criticism
The energy vampire loves to blame everyone else for his or her own problems. Rarely is anything their fault, from the small imagined slights to the larger conflicts at play. They cannot be accountable for their mistakes and often lash out at others. In the alternative, they seek nurturing and compassion from kind hearted people or empaths.
An energy vampire will be attracted to empaths because the vampire lacks this very necessary emotion. Kindness does not kill them, but makes them stronger; however, kindness kills the person giving it, since the vampire will never reciprocate.
5. Complaining
As can be observed from this list, there is an overlap of the traits, as they often operate together. One who always complains and criticizes is very easily one who exaggerates and seeks attention. To be fair, everyone complains. In fact, complaining and judging might be the usual human status, since compassion, happiness and openness all take considerable work.
Nonetheless, the energy vampire takes complaining to a new level. They will turn their complaining and criticism on you, your friends, your family, your interests and your work, in an attempt to isolate and to control you. Therefore, constant complaining complete with barbed comments is a means to an end with the vampire.
6. Drama
Although it is a term usually used with teenagers, drama is a big part of the energy vampire’s life. There is always a problem, most likely of their own making, because they aren’t particularly happy people and they conflate attention with excitement, even if that excitement is destructive.
Drama provides them with the distraction that they need to avoid introspection, especially if they are bored or lonely. They seem to operate according to the adage that “bad attention is better than no attention.” energy vampires are quite toxic, wreaking havoc on their victims.
7. Deeply insecure
Always manipulative, the energy vampire can make you feel guilty for not paying attention to him or her or for not being glowing in your appreciation for their “good deeds”. If attacked negatively, the person may project their anger back on to you and accuse you of doing things that they have done! In this manner, the energy vampire is the ultimate practitioner of gaslighting.
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